NOT in Washington, DC) — Today, Nevada Democrats generously hired a linguistics expert to translate Congressman Heck’s Washington-speak. Yesterday, Catherine Cortez Masto called on Congressman Heck and his possible GOP Primary opponent, Sharron Angle, to join her in demanding the United States Senate take up President Obama’s Supreme Court appointment after the President announces it.
Hours later, after being pressed by reporters, Congressman Heck’s campaign released a statement that only someone who has spent half a decade in Washington could parse. In his statement, which declined to say where he actually stood on the issue, Congressman Heck said “each entity should exercise its prerogative.” Um…what??
So, in an effort to understand what Congressman Heck is saying, we hired a linguistics expert to decode his comments. If you’re concerned our expert doesn’t understand Washington-speak, don’t worry. Our guy is good — the best, as Congressman Heck’s anti-immigrant ideological soul mate Donald Trump would say.
Below is what we got back from our world-class linguistics expert:
Congressman: Each entity should exercise its prerogative.
Linguistics expert who understands Washington-speak: I need to pretend to be moderate if I make it to the General Election…but I won’t make it there if I anger my TEA Party base and give Sharron Angle an issue to use against me. So let me just say a bunch of words that make me sound like a robot but don’t actually offend anyone.
“Unfortunately, it takes a linguistics expert to decode Congressman Heck’s Washington double talk,” said Sarah Zukowski, spokesperson for the Nevada State Democratic Party. “Instead of calling on his Party’s leadership to do its job and take up the Supreme Court vacancy, Congressman Heck is using the Washington-speak he honed in his half a decade in Congress to try to weasel out of telling Nevadans where he stands.”